MamaGrizzly

Who comes up with this stuff?

13th March 2008

Who comes up with this stuff?

posted in Funny, Life, Parenting |

OK - I’m going to be a little bit cynical in this post.  But, I just had to laugh.  A very young soon to be new Mom friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago about a regular “date night” and what my husband and I do for a date night now that we have children.  I asked her what she meant and she said that some friends of hers from her church have been telling her that she and her husband really need to have once a week date nights after they have the baby.  I was sipping on a glass of tea at the moment and almost spit out my drink in laughter.  She asked me why I was laughing?

Well, I was laughing for a lot of reasons.  First of all, I don’t think people that make these kinds of statements live in the same world that I do.  First off - it’s EXPENSIVE to find a babysitter - especially when your children are younger.  And as for a newborn?  Well, there just aren’t that many people qualified to take care of a newborn.  And let’s not even discuss what a breastfeeding Mom is supposed to do.

Secondly, let’s suppose that I COULD afford the babysitter.  Now I have to find someone that I trust - and when you don’t have any family in town, that gets even more difficult.

Third, OK - let’s suppose that I DID have someone I could trust and afford - NOW I have to be able to afford going OUT!  UGH!  Do you see where I’m going with this?

Fourth - you know, children get up EARLY at our house.  So, now that I’ve got someone I can trust and afford taking care of my child AND I can afford to go somewhere, I better not stay out LATE because those children are going to wake up BRIGHT EYED and BUSHY TAILED (as my Dad used to say) and RARING to go.  Now, my children are awesome sleepers and they’ve been known to sleep in until 7:30 sometimes - but, I still better not stay out very late.   I really like my sleep!    :wink:

So, I asked my friend why the emphasis on actually going OUT and she said that it was important that they focus on their marriage as a couple even when the children arrive.   OK - Well, this I can agree on.  But, my question back to her was, “Why do you have to go OUT on a date every week?”    I guess my point back to her was that through the ages, families haven’t been able to “afford” this type of a luxury and they were able to stay married for a lifetime.   I know for a fact that my Grandparents didn’t go out on a “date night” - heck, they lived on a farm and had 4 boys and many sharecroppers.  They didn’t even have a car to drive until the youngest child was 13 years old.  But, somehow, my grandparents stayed married their entire lives without going every week.

I’m not trying to trivialize the time spent with your spouse - it’s important.  But you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have quality time with your spouse.  My husband and I spend time together talking every night when the children are in bed - we don’t have to spend a lot of money to have that quality time together.  I think the “once a week date night” was actually invented by the restaurant industry just like I think the greeting card company’s keep inventing new “holidays” so that they can sell more greeting cards.  Spend quality time together with your spouse - but just know that you don’t have to leave home and spend a lot of money to do that!

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 13th, 2008 at 7:05 am and is filed under Funny, Life, Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 14 responses to “Who comes up with this stuff?”

Why not let us know what you think by adding your own comment! Your opinion is as valid as anyone elses, so come on... let us know what you think.

  1. 1 On March 13th, 2008, Heather said:

    Amen. Amen. Amen.

    Our date night is Scrabble or a movie after the kids have gone to bed. Sure we go out once in a while. Although, I think our last official date was in July before our youngest was born. Oh, there was Tim’s company part in Jan, but that stunk so I don’t want to count it. Do I have to?

    posted on March 13th, 2008 at 12:50 pm

  2. 2 On March 13th, 2008, Lowcountry Blogs » Randomly We Roll Along said:

    [...] Mamagrizzly has my number. It’s good to know I am not the only one who thinks the cost of “date night” is prohibitive. [...]

    posted on March 13th, 2008 at 1:04 pm

  3. 3 On March 13th, 2008, baby girl said:

    I think the hardest part is to find a good babysitter, you can never know how you will find.

    posted on March 13th, 2008 at 2:04 pm

  4. 4 On March 13th, 2008, Barbara said:

    I know you’ve heard that it’s bad luck to wear Opals unless it’s your birthstone (October). Know where that came from? DeBeers, the diamond company, came up with it because years ago they feared opals could become too popular, replacing diamonds. So, you could be right about the restaurant industry. I know you’re right about greeting cards.

    posted on March 13th, 2008 at 2:47 pm

  5. 5 On March 13th, 2008, Syd said:

    I would rather go for a walk on the beach or sit on the porch swing than go to a restaurant. It’s the little things that are romantic. Quality time can be spent anywhere–it’s a mindset.

    posted on March 13th, 2008 at 3:58 pm

  6. 6 On March 19th, 2008, Kathy said:

    Since I worked part time when my first son was a baby, rounding up another babysitter for him and spending even more time apart from him was not high on my list of things to do.

    But I did want to spend quality time with my husband. We found many ways to do that without leaving the baby, and we found, over the years, that sharing the ups and downs of raising our children together is what really glued us together. As the kids got older it was easier to swap babysitting with close friends or leave them in the care of grandparents occasionally. It was still nothing like weekly, but we continued our tradition of nurturing our marriage in other ways.

    In October we celebrate 30 years of marriage and best friendhood.
    :cool:

    posted on March 19th, 2008 at 12:59 am

  7. 7 On March 19th, 2008, mamagrizzly said:

    Kathy - CONGRATULATIONS!!! That’s a lot to celebrate!! I really value and treasure your Mom and wife advice!!!

    posted on March 19th, 2008 at 6:16 am

  8. 8 On April 21st, 2008, TJ said:

    [followed a link here from another blog]

    Date night invented by the restaurant industry? I always thought it was invented by the Ezzos in their detachment parenting materials… But anyway, I must say that babysitting swap with neighbors is a great idea - we’ve been doing that since our youngest was 2ish. We now have a biweekly date night (and a biweekly “friendzy” of children) and it’s nice. We’re gone a couple of hours and home before bedtime. Sometimes I think the kids enjoy it more than we do - they sometimes turn down invitations to other friends’ houses because of “friendzy”!

    posted on April 21st, 2008 at 8:56 pm

  9. 9 On April 24th, 2008, thatmom said:

    I came your direction via Rebecca and wanted to add a comment.

    My husband and I are big advocates of date night. They don’t have to be expensive nor do they mean you have to leave the house but we believe husbands and wives need to set aside a regular time to be alone with each other every week. When we began homeschooling 23 years ago, our oldest was only 10 so if we went out, we had to hire a sitter, leave the children with grandparents, or trade babysitting with friends. We did this perhaps once a month. The rest of the time we planned something special for late in the evening when the children went to bed. Sometimes I would fix a nice dinner and we would eat by candlelight. Sometimes we snuggled on the couch with a movie. Other times we played board games or listened to music and talked. Of course, a nursing baby always joined us.

    After doing this now for all these years, this is what I have learned. My husband really needs to have my undivided attention every once in a while. Sometimes we think date night is for mom but it really is for dad, too. My children needed to understand that before they were, our marriage was and one day when they are gone, we will still be a couple. They must understand that our marriage is a huge priority. And when they do get this, it brings the greatest sense of security to a family you could ask for. Once the older ones were able to watch the younger ones, we had a little more freedom to come and go and now that my “baby” is 17, we can leave for an evening and not worry. We have been married going on 34 years and, looking back, we both believe that setting aside a regular time to spend together without the children has been one of the best investments we could ever have made.

    posted on April 24th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

  10. 10 On June 8th, 2008, madame said:

    Hi,
    I came here via Random Musings.
    I’m a bit late…

    Thanks for this post Mamagrizzly, and thanks for your great comments Thatmom and Kathy! 30 and 35 years of marriage is a lOOOOONG time!

    The last time my husband and I tried to go on a date was back in February. My sister was visiting and she offered to have the boys for one evening. We drove into town, with baby in tow, of course, parked and ran frantically to a restaurant to grab a bite to eat before dashing off to the movie theater, all to find out that babies are not allowed in the cinema!
    It was a disaster. Poor baby was crying most of the time too.

    My husband and I have to work on spending more time together regularly, but we can do that at home.

    posted on June 8th, 2008 at 6:24 pm

  11. 11 On July 4th, 2008, bupropion hci said:

    bupropion…

    carbamazepine bupropion forum…

    posted on July 4th, 2008 at 7:03 pm

  12. 12 On July 4th, 2008, atarax indicaA§Aµes said:

    atarax…

    what is atarax prescribed for…

    posted on July 4th, 2008 at 7:09 pm

  13. 13 On September 10th, 2008, tramadol said:

    tramadol…

    cheap soma. order soma. order soma. soma. soma carisoprodol. soma. generic soma. soma cruz. soma carisoprodol. soma carisoprodol. online tramadol. tramadol hcl. tramadol hcl. order tramadol. cheap tramadol. soma carisoprodol. soma online. akane soma. s…

    posted on September 10th, 2008 at 10:58 pm

  14. 14 On September 28th, 2008, baby names meanings said:

    I agree with you, one doesn’t have to set a rigid timetable of weekly date nights and then forget each other for the rest of the week.

    posted on September 28th, 2008 at 10:42 am

Leave a Reply

*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Click to hear an audio file of the anti-spam word