MamaGrizzly

Don’t believe me? Well, several months ago, I had a blog entry about young lady name Tricia who has cystic fibrosis. Just as she was preparing to begin her journey to prepare for a double lung transplant, she found out she was pregnant. I could tell you the whole story (I’ve been reading their blog and praying for them since early January), but it would be best if you started here. Long story short? Tricia was given a less then 50 percent chance that either she or the baby would survive. Guess what? Tricia is now out of the hospital after receiving her double lung transplant and her beautiful little girl - Gwyneth - born 15 weeks early will most likely go home this week. Don’t believe me? Read for yourself. But I warn you - it will change you! Happy Mothers Day Tricia!

Car seats for children are an absolutely awesome technology that can help you keep your child safe. The hardest part about the car seat, though, is knowing what kind of car seat and how to install it. I recently came across a video on Youtube that made me realize the importance of the 5 point harness system with car seats. I will caution you that this video WILL make you cry. But, for those of you who are parents of young kids, it’s an awesome opportunity for you to learn the importance of keeping your child in a 5 point harness system. The family of Kyle David Miller would like to make sure that you know the importance of this system so that his death was not in vain.

All of you Moms out there are going to like this.  It’s a catchy and fun tune and the words are great!  My children like to dance to the music!

We bought 2 tickets to the “Walking with the Dinosaurs” show that is coming to the North Charleston Coliseum.  The tickets were expensive - even when you buy the cheapest seats.  We only bought 2 so one of us could take our 4 year old son.  It wasn’t worth spending the money for our soon to be 2 year old daughter.  Well, my husband wants ME to take our son and I am SO excited!  I’ll give a report after the show!

I’ ve written about this group before but I found another video this weekend by They Might Be Giants and my 4 year old and soon to be 2 year old LOVED it so I thought I would share. 

This past weekend, I got to see my very first movie at the movie theatre in almost exactly 2 years!  I had the privilege of taking my sweet little 4 year old boy to see Horton Hears a Who - and we both LOVED it!

My son is a big fan of Dr. Seuss books and this book is particularly one of his favorites - his favorite line of all in the book is “A persons a person, no matter how small”!  All parents should remember that on a daily basis!

Anyway, it follows the book pretty closely with some different twists in there - I mean, come on, it’s  a short book and the original version of the movie is only about 30 minutes long.  I think we’ve seen the original version no less than about 50 times.  And for those of you who have “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” on DVD, take a look at the Extra Features - the original “Horton Hears a Who” is on there.  Which makes sense because the Grinch, after all, lives in Who-ville.

Anyway, not very many “G” movies come out these days and so when they do, we try to take our son (our daughter will be 2 soon so she’ll be getting to go in a few more months as well).  It’s a cute movie and enjoyed by both children AND adults!

A little over year ago we made a major purchase that I just want to document and say was WELL worth it!  We purchased the swingset you see below made by “Gorilla” from Home Depot.  And, let me just say that it was a fantastic purchase.  The children are on that swingset EVERY day when the weather is nice - which, fortunately is often when you live in sunny South Carolina.

What do we like the MOST about it?  It’s sturdy - we can swing on it and it doesn’t move.  It is safe - everything is either hidden or covered so it’s hard for children to hit a nail or a screw (actually, nearly impossible).  I also like the fact that my children’s cousins who are 8 and 9 come over and love to play on it too.  So, I think for the money we spent, we will get MANY years of use and enjoyment out of it.

By the way, this is NOT a paid advertisement - just my personal opinion.

I was around someone the other day who told their child that they better “get happy” - ”GET” happy?  How do you do that?  Everything in life isn’t always “happy”.  Why does their child have to be HAPPY?  I’m not happy all the time - as humans, we have a range of emotions - happy, sad, mad, afraid, glad…..

Then, I had a great talk with my sister the other day about feelings and emotions and how critical it is to let children “have” and experience feelings.  We talked about our experiences as children and she remembered that none of the family pets when she was growing up ever “died” - because our parents didn’t want the kids to have to deal with that emotion.  Why not?  Grief is a part of life - it’s something both my sister are dealing with now with the recent death of our Father.

What is MOST important, with children and emotions, is that they learn exactly HOW to deal with those feelings and what is appropriate.  I can’t “command” that my children be happy - I think that is actually absurd.  But, I CAN help them learn how to handle their feelings.  I’ve been working with my son on how to express his frustration and I have no problems with him telling me that he doesn’t like something - as long as he is respectful in the way he presents his feelings.

You see, I’ve been around people who have no CLUE how to express that they are mad at you or upset with you - and it can be incredibly frustrating to be their friend because you never know what you’ve said that upset them.  And, it certainly doesn’t promote a very healthy relationship.

The other day, my son wanted a snack 5 minutes before dinner.  I told him that he could not that dinner was almost ready.  I was so proud of him because after his bath, he said, “Mommy - can we talk about it?”

“Talk about what, sweetheart?”  I said.

“Well, I wanted a snack and you wouldn’t let me have one.  That made me mad”  he said very politely.

“Sweetie” I said as I put him on my lap, “I knew you were hungry and I was working hard on preparing a really nice dinner for everyone in the family and so I was busy and you were about to eat in 5 minutes.  It would have hurt MY feelings if you hadn’t eaten any of the dinner I had fixed and Daddy and your sister would have had to wait longer for dinner.  We can’t ALWAYS have what we want WHEN we want it.”

We talked a little bit longer and at the end of the conversation, I got a big hug with an “I love you Mommy” that almost moved me to tears.  I was so proud of him - he didn’t like something but he had learned HOW to tell me that in a very respectful manner.  He’s learning to express his feelings and emotions - a big step for children.  I don’t want my children to think they always have to be “happy” - that’s not a realistic expectation  - I’m certainly not always happy.  I DO want them to know how to handle their different emotions and how to express and discuss those feelings those.  THAT is a very important lesson to me!

I get a LOT of hits on people doing google searches on Pulmicort and Xopenex - and the other day, someone was even searching Pulmicort with the words “infant hype”.  Pulmicort IS a steroid and it most DEFINITELY affected our daughter.  She’s always been a good sleeper but we definitely noticed that we couldn’t give her Pulmicort at night.  If we did, bless her heart, she was hyped up for half the night - it was pitiful.  When we DID give her Pulmicort (and we tried not to), we wound up giving it to her in the morning only - it definitely affected her during the day, though, and it was harder for her to fall asleep for her naps -  nothing a little extra snuggling and nursing couldn’t fix though!

My parents did a LOT of things right - those are the things I most definitely want to mimic.  One of those things was always making healthy snacks available.  I could eat at any time of the day if I was hungry.  My Mom always made sure that there were plenty of healthy snacks available around the house for those times.  We had fruits, nuts, crackers - oh yes - and peanut butter!  We never had sodas around and cookies and cake were special treats but ALWAYS home made.

I learned a lot from that growing up and it’s taught me some very healthy eating habits.  And although my Mother always prepared healthy dinners, I’ve been able to learn even more about health and nutrition.  It’s interesting that my children, 4 and almost 2, are naturally hungry and want something to eat about 6 times a day.  Why do I find that interesting?  Because every diet out there known to man preaches that you should be eating 6 small meals a day - and my children are just acting on their natural hunger.   I won’t bother naming any of them because EVERY diet and diet book I’ve read makes that recommendation.

And I think that is critical to the success of our children - to teach them that food is simply energy - it’s not to be a controlled substance.  But, I’m also considered “odd” by many of my friends because, you see, we don’t bring sugared foods into the house.  Children don’t NEED sugar.  What they need is a steady stream of healthy carbohydrates, protein, and the right fats to maintain their energy.   When my children are older and able to fix their own snacks, I intend to give them free access to the kitchen pantries and refridgerator.

A friend of mine told me about a group called “They Might be Giants” that has some really fun music for children - the music is geared towards learning and both of her children love the music. Well, they have quite a few videos on YouTube and here’s one I found that my son LOVES! I think I’ll be getting some of their CD’s!

I get a lot of hits on this blog for people doing google searches on “Xopenex and Pulmicort“.  When my daughter was diagnosed with RSV in November 2006 (at 7 months), we had to give her breathing treatments of Xopenex and Pulmicort off and on throughout that Winter.  I was told to be prepared that we would probably be on both drugs throughout the second Winter of her life as well.

I fully expected, after talking to the pediatrician, as well as, friends and family members who have children who have had RSV that this Winter (2007) was going to be rough but I am happy to report ( and a little nervous since it’s not QUITE over) that we’ve only had to do breathing treatments for about 3 days since October 2007.    We’re very relieved that she has stayed as healthy as she has and I hope that next year we won’t even need the prescriptions for Xopenex and Pulmicort.  Anyway, since I get so many hits on those 2 drugs, I just thought I would post an update.

Our church has Baptism as a part of the church service. I love that it’s a part of our service because it means I regularly get to witness a Baptism - and every time I do, I cry. In our church, for an infant Baptism, the parents make a commitment to raise this child to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. As a congregation, we take part in the Baptism as well and make the commitment that we too will help this child to grow up to know Jesus. We are specifically asked to respond to questions, the same way the parents are asked to respond. But, the part that I love the best is that just before the Baptism occurs, our Pastor invites all of the children to go up and sit down at the alter for the Baptism. He wants the children to have the opportunity to witness and be a part of the Baptism. After the Baptism, he talks to the children about what Baptism means and as our Pastor, he has Baptised almost every child that is sitting with him. He has Baptised both of mine. He tells the children how they too can be a very important part of this child’s life and how they too can help this child grow to learn Jesus. He then asks them if they will promise to help this child learn about Jesus and they all say, “yes”.

My son always comes back to sit with me after a Baptism and wants to talk about his Baptism and I tell him all about it. We talk about how important Baptism is and then he asks about his sisters Baptism. I do so love that it’s a part of our church service - it’s always a reminder that we too are making a commitment to help others with their faith and their journey towards a life with Christ.

OK - I’m going to be a little bit cynical in this post.  But, I just had to laugh.  A very young soon to be new Mom friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago about a regular “date night” and what my husband and I do for a date night now that we have children.  I asked her what she meant and she said that some friends of hers from her church have been telling her that she and her husband really need to have once a week date nights after they have the baby.  I was sipping on a glass of tea at the moment and almost spit out my drink in laughter.  She asked me why I was laughing?

Well, I was laughing for a lot of reasons.  First of all, I don’t think people that make these kinds of statements live in the same world that I do.  First off - it’s EXPENSIVE to find a babysitter - especially when your children are younger.  And as for a newborn?  Well, there just aren’t that many people qualified to take care of a newborn.  And let’s not even discuss what a breastfeeding Mom is supposed to do.

Secondly, let’s suppose that I COULD afford the babysitter.  Now I have to find someone that I trust - and when you don’t have any family in town, that gets even more difficult.

Third, OK - let’s suppose that I DID have someone I could trust and afford - NOW I have to be able to afford going OUT!  UGH!  Do you see where I’m going with this?

Fourth - you know, children get up EARLY at our house.  So, now that I’ve got someone I can trust and afford taking care of my child AND I can afford to go somewhere, I better not stay out LATE because those children are going to wake up BRIGHT EYED and BUSHY TAILED (as my Dad used to say) and RARING to go.  Now, my children are awesome sleepers and they’ve been known to sleep in until 7:30 sometimes - but, I still better not stay out very late.   I really like my sleep!    :wink:

So, I asked my friend why the emphasis on actually going OUT and she said that it was important that they focus on their marriage as a couple even when the children arrive.   OK - Well, this I can agree on.  But, my question back to her was, “Why do you have to go OUT on a date every week?”    I guess my point back to her was that through the ages, families haven’t been able to “afford” this type of a luxury and they were able to stay married for a lifetime.   I know for a fact that my Grandparents didn’t go out on a “date night” - heck, they lived on a farm and had 4 boys and many sharecroppers.  They didn’t even have a car to drive until the youngest child was 13 years old.  But, somehow, my grandparents stayed married their entire lives without going every week.

I’m not trying to trivialize the time spent with your spouse - it’s important.  But you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have quality time with your spouse.  My husband and I spend time together talking every night when the children are in bed - we don’t have to spend a lot of money to have that quality time together.  I think the “once a week date night” was actually invented by the restaurant industry just like I think the greeting card company’s keep inventing new “holidays” so that they can sell more greeting cards.  Spend quality time together with your spouse - but just know that you don’t have to leave home and spend a lot of money to do that!

One of my New Years resolutions was to make sure that I was reading to my children EVERY night for a minimum of 30 minutes.  Let me just add that our time stretches much closer to 45 minutes these days which I LOVE!  I’m not sure who looks forward to the reading of the books now - me or the children!  We have rapidly been expanding the books we like to read.  Every night, I get a stack of books, throw them on the bed and the kids get all excited and climb into the bed for reading.  They each get to take turns picking books from the pile on the bed!  It’s ever so sweet.  So, here are some of their favorites:

Hop-on-Pop - Dr. Seuss

Anything with the character Arthur and his sister DW

The Napping House - if you’ve never read this, it’s AWESOME!

Level 1 readers for children -  my 4 year old son has taken to memorizing books like CRAZY.  He loves ANY of the Level 1 reader books because I can read them to him twice and then voila!  He has them MEMORIZED! 

Anything with Winnie the Pooh

Anything with silly fun rhymes

Are you My Mother - P. D. Eastman

Anything with Scooby-Doo

Goodnight My Duckling - by Nancy Tafuri - the kids love this because at the end, the Mama duck and her ducklings all cuddle up at the end of the book to go “night night”.  My son loves that part because he always says, “Mommy!  The Mommy duck is laying down to go to sleep with HER babies - just like we do!”  AHHHH!  What a sweet little boy.

These are just a few of our/their favorites.  The children keeep venturing to the bookshelf every few days to grab more books to read - I expect that our list of books will change and grow over the next few months.

My blogging friend, TulipGirl, recently wrote a post about the books she Hopes to Read in 2008.  Someone posed the question to me - what books do I plan to read this year?  Well, with 2 small children, my list is a little different.  But, one of my resolutions this year was to get back to reading to the kids EVERY night before bed and so far, it’s working.  The problem is that my children are 4 (boy) and ALMOST 2 (girl) and so their reading interests are VASTLY different.  So, the dilemma is what books do you read to them that BOTH will enjoy and BOTH will be challenged?  You know what I’ve found to be some of the BEST that fit that category?  DR. SEUSS!

I’ve always loved Dr. Seuss books and I’ve found that my son loves to hear the stories and study the pictures and my daughter loves the “sing song” of the words.  I didn’t want to read to them separately which is what we had been doing.  It’s hard to get her to sit still but we’re getting there and I LOVE reading to them every night.  My son is really into finishing off the last couple of words in “Green Eggs and Ham”.  The rhyming of Dr. Seuss is great for him too because he loves trying to make things rhyme. 

So, for now, here is my top 10 list of books to read this year (OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER):

1.  “OH the Places You’ll Go” - by Dr. Seuss

2.  “Green Eggs and Ham” - by Dr. Seuss

3.  “There’s a Wocket in my Pocket” - by Dr. Seuss

4.  “Guess How much I love you” - by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram

5.  “Time to PEEEEEEEE”  (that’s for my daughter) - by Mo Willems

6.  “Sleep Book”  - by Dr. Seuss

7.  “Mr. Brown Can MOO!  Can YOU?” - by Dr. Seuss

8. “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” - by Dr. Seuss

9.  “Horton Hears a Who” - by Dr. Seuss

10.  “The Sneetches” - by Dr. Seuss

I know - kind of a boring list but I know that some day I’ll be able to get back to pleasure reading for ME.  But, in the meantime, we plan to start with the list above and expand. 

Well, the whole goal (at least for us at Christmas) is for the children to get toys that are imaginative and fun that they will play with for more than 1 hour.  I think we’ve been successful at that!  I’m going to give the top 2 toys our children received this Christmas. 

We got our daughter the Fisher Price “Grow with Me Kitchen” which has turned out to be a HUGE hit.   Last year after Christmas, I bought a bunch of pretend food and serving dishes at Target (I spent about $5).  We bought the kitchen (picture is below) from Toys ‘R Us on sale for $49.99 and used PayPal which offered a 20% discount on the Monday after Thanksgiving.  Well, our 20 month old daughter has not stopped playing with this kitchen.  The cool part is that it’s a “Grow With Me” and so right now it’s about half the height you see below.  She LOVES it! 

Our son just turned 4 and his aunt got him the HotWheels 4 way race track that you see below.   It has been a HUGE hit also.  He loves cars and hasn’t stopped playing with his race track since he opened it up! 

It’s been an awesome and relaxing family day.  The sermon today was given by one of the church members and she told the story of “The Rag Coat”.  Turns out, it’s actually a children’s story (and if you haven’t read it, I HIGHLY encourage you to seek it out).  But, the story was a reminder that about what is important in life.

May the blessings of Christmas, and the birth of the Savior bring joy and peace to you and your family.

I simply can’t delete his phone number.  It’s been just over 2 months since my Father died and his home phone number (the one that the family has been dialing for over 37 years) is still programmed into my cell phone.  It says “Dad Home” followed by his number.  *sigh*  I don’t know when I’ll be ready to delete it.  It just makes it so, well, permanent and real that he is gone.  I might add that the actual number has been disconnected - my sister had to do that and I know it was incredibly difficult for her to do.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about dialing his number either.  I’ve called it a couple of times *knowing* that it has been disconnected.  My Mom has been gone now for 3.5 years and I STILL think about calling her.  I’ll be doing something and I’ll think, “I should call Mom”…. but I can’t reach either one of them with modern technology. 

It’s been difficult losing my Dad.  He was my last surviving parent and losing him has made me feel, at times, like an orphan.  He was the last person on this earth who had been there for me from the beginning.  He was the last person on earth who loved me unconditionally.  Losing him and dealing with that grief has made me realize how incredibly hard it was on him when my sister died in 2001.  I realize now that his reactions after she died, while they seemed strange, were his way of coping with the impossible.  It’s been hard enough to lose both parents but burying our parents is a natural part of life - it’s something we know we will probably all face someday.  Burying a child is a whole different story and I now know, more than ever, how incredibly difficult that must have been for my Father.

But the blessing is that life goes on and death has the incredible ability of bringing families closer together - of making us realize exactly what is important in life - it’s not a new car, or new clothes or money in the bank.  The value in this life is our family, our friends, our relationships and the chance to have a positive influence on someone else’s life.  ….. that is what matters most of all.  And God truly has blessed me with a wonderful family, husband, and the 2 cutest children in the whole world (sorry to break it to y’all but mine ARE the cutest and sweetest in the world).  And, while this Christmas will probably be one of the hardest, I have fond and fun memories of my own childhood and my parents.  I’m surrounded by family and friends who love me and care about me and I also have God there to hold me in the palm of His hand.  Merry Christmas!   

Christmas time is my favorite time of the year - I’m sure that I share that in common with a lot of people.  But I love the traditions in families and with our young family, my husband and I have enjoyed coming up with our own traditions.  We’ve started some already and have thoughts for many more but right now I have 2 children that are under the age of 4 so some of my current traditions are limited by age.  Nonetheless, they are fun and we are enjoying them.  Of course, we put up a Christmas tree and stockings, our nativity scene.  But, I have a special box that I keep for each child that holds only ornaments for that child.  Whenever we travel somewhere, I try to find a unique ornament that is a reminder of where they have been and I place it with a note (from Mom) in their box.  You see, I want them to have their own large assortment of meaningful ornaments from their childhoods when they leave home.  I have no intention of telling them about their boxes until they are ready to leave home (for those of you who know me IRL - please don’t let out my secret).  It’s kind of a special collection that I will give to them much later.  I don’t limit myself to just 1 ornament - I just find very special and unique ornaments.

We’ve started our own tradition of having Texas BBQ Brisket on Christmas Eve just before our Children’s Church Service at 5:00PM.  Following Church, our neighborhood has a tradition of lining all of the streets in the neighborhood with luminaries at dusk - it’s absolutely beautiful and last year was the first change we had to enjoy it and it was beautiful.  I think this year we will get some hot chocolate and walk around (or drive depending on how cold it is).  I plan to read the children the story of the birth of Jesus just before bedtime and then Santa and Mrs. Claus will enjoy putting out a few items for each child and then retire to a nice warm fire.   

One thing we will definitely do when the children get older is to adopt a family at Christmas time - we haven’t completely formulated our ideas of how it will work but essentially we want our children to learn true giving of themselves.  We may even take a year where we don’t spend any money on each other and only provide for a family - I’m not sure what age the children will need to be to understand all of that but we are definitely a few years off. 

We really like traditions at our house - we revel in them and we know that it’s these types of traditions that will make lasting memories for our whole family.   What traditions do you have in your home? 

This is hilarious!!!

This guy is too hilarious! Thought I’d share another video of his. Enjoy!

OK - this is HYSTERICAL!!!!   I’ve never heard words before sung to Cannon in D (and I LOVE to play that song on the piano).  But, this was toooo hilarious not to share!

My darling little soon to be 4 year old son decided today that picking a very small red berry and sticking it UP his nose would be a LOT of fun!  Only to find out that gravity doesn’t work QUITE as well in a nostril as it does on the playground.  So, we tried tweezers and a flashlight and started getting frustrated.  Then one of the ladies at the church said, “I think if you blow in their mouth as if you were going to do mouth to mouth resuscitation that it will come out.”  You know what?  It worked!!!!  Moms - tuck this in your brains - you too may need to know this very critical skill one day!

For you Daddy’s out there with little girls, you’ll cry all the way through this song - so, consider yourself forewarned. 

I just have to add that watching my husband with my daughter sometimes brings tears to my eyes.  I know how very special that Daddy/daughter dynamic can be and I hope that she’ll continue to have a very special relationship with her Daddy for her entire life.  This song so beautifully tells the story of a father’s love for his daughter.  Get out your hankies. 

Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there’s nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I’m not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she’d find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she’d find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I’m going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

I have an RSV baby….  But let me preface that by saying I am blessed that she was born ON her due date at a whopping 8 pounds 5 ounces and VERY healthy.  She was also 100% breastfed until she was 9 months and then I started with food but continued breastfeeding for another 6 months.  So, all that to say it helped my daughter IMMENSELY with this dreaded virus.  It can be a deadly virus for parents of premies or children born with underdeveloped lungs or other problems.

When she was 7 months old (and it’s been almost a year to the date), she came down with what we thought was a nasty cold.  But, we were up with her for an entire Friday night - and I mean we paced the floor with her for 6 hours and she whimpered in our arms almost the entire time.  We KNEW something was wrong.  Fortunately, our pediatrician was open that Saturday for illnesses like this.  We took her in and the second the doctor listened to her lungs she said, “I think she may have RSV - let’s test her.”  Fifteen minutes later, we had the positive diagnosis.  We quickly became the proud owners of a nebulizer  and one treatment of Xopenex and Pulmicort in the doctors office and my daughter was no longer wheezing and had fallen asleep in my arms - FINALLY she could get oxygen to her lungs.

We continued with breathing treatments pretty steadily through January but we QUICKLY discovered that when she got the Pulmicort (which is a steroid) in the evenings, it woke her up at night.  So, we just continued with the Xopenex through January and then after that watched her carefully and with every cold, she started back on the Xopenex treatments.

Fast forward to this year - she’s now 19 months and the RSV is still affecting her.  We had to start back with the breathing treatments this year for all colds and continue them for a couple of days after the cold symptoms are gone.   The doctor highly encouraged us to do Pulmicort twice a day and Xopenex three times a day.  Well,  we gave her Pulmicort at night for 2 nights straight and guess what?  Our little “like a rock” sleeper was up each night - WIRED TO THE MAX wanting to PLAY!  What???  This is the SAME little girl that will go to bed at 8:00PM and sleep in and cuddle with her Daddy on Saturdays until 9:30AM!   So, we decided to NOT give her Pulmicort last night - guess what?  Our little sleeper was back!  She didn’t want to have a party at 3:00 in the morning!  Anyway, just wanted to post our experiences with that in case other parents are out there searching for answers!

This is a MUST see!!! 

I forgot about the Halloween toy/costume recalls.  There is an article on FoxNews about the recalls.  Below are some important highlights from the article.  The really scarey part is the number of parts listed in the article.  How many of you parents knew about these?  I read the news regularly and found many of these a surprise. 

 The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has issued warnings on items such as witch and skull pails, cape costumes and pumpkin Mr. Potato Heads, saying they are unsafe for kids.

“We’ve tested 22 Halloween products, and three were found to have contained high levels of lead,”

About 142,000 purple witch buckets, manufactured by Family Dollar Stores in Charlotte, N.C., were recalled because of toxic lead levels found in the paint coating them. Also pulled were 55,000 candy-filled skull pails, made by R.L. Albert & Son of Greenwich, Conn.

Fake choppers called “Ugly Teeth” tested positive for lead too, with conflicting reports about whether the levels surpassed the limits set by the Food and Drug Administration.

How safe are you feeling about buying toys made in China?

FoxNews has another article dated October 31, 2007 - Lead-Tainted Toys Recalled.  Are you surprised?  Below is an excerpt from that article:

WASHINGTON —  Toys “R” Us recalled about 16,000 Chinese-made Elite Operations toys because of lead contamination, the Consumer Product Safety Commission announced Wednesday.

The military-style toys are recalled because their surface paints contain excessive levels of lead, which is toxic if ingested by young children. Under current regulations, children’s products found to have more than 0.06 percent lead accessible to users are subject to a recall.

This is the second recall of lead-tainted children’s products for Toys “R” Us this month. On Oct. 4, the company recalled about 15,000 Totally Me! Funky Room Decor Sets because surface paints on the back of the decorating kits’ mirrors contained high levels of lead.

But, this is just one of many  articles I found when I did a search on FoxNews of “Chinese toy recall”. 

If you’re not rethinking what you are buying for your children, you need to be!

Matthew 6:25-34

25″Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28″And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In continuation of discussing my parenting journey, it’s my belief now that when parenting “musts” are directed at me, that the “must” or the advice must transcend culture and time. For example, when people say that formula is better than breastmilk, there’s no way that can be true. If it WAS true, then God would not have given women breasts, water would be pure wherever we could find it, formula would be available on trees and baby bottles with nipples would be easy to find and make. And please, I’m not getting into the formula versus breastmilk debate here - I have a child that DID get formula. I’m just arguing the directive that “formula is better than breastmilk”. It can’t be - that doesn’t transcend culture and time. It certainly is not a part of God’s plan.

Let’s take another one. Some parents today choose to sleep with their children (commonly called co-sleeping), some parents choose to place their children in a crib in another room. But to say that you MUST place your children in another room by themselves is just simply ridiculous advice. Again - it doesn’t transcend culture and time. For thousands of years, people have slept with their children. Even in Biblical times, families slept together. My 80+ year old Father grew up very poor on a farm with 3 brothers and he remembers everyone sleeping together. In primitive areas of the world, they STILL sleep with their children in order to keep them warm and safe. And, in many cultures (take the Japanese for example), even though they are an industrialized nation, they still sleep with their children as well.

I actually had a friend tell me that if our children slept with us, it would ruin our marriage. I find it ironic in a nation that has probably the lowest number of people co-sleeping has probably the highest divorce rate. I hardly think co-sleeping is the problem in America. If sharing sleep, like families have done for centuries “ruins” your marriage, I’d say that you probably didn’t have much of a marriage to begin with. In our culture today in the US, it is a choice parents can make because of central heat, and because of economics (we have bigger homes, we have more money, they manufacture cribs now, etc.). It’s not a “right or wrong” decision and it certainly doesn’t transcend culture and time. It’s simply a choice that parents today can make for themselves.

Another example - feeding infant babies on a schedule. You can pick up lots of books today that recommend you feed a child on a schedule. For parents who choose to formula feed, I think it’s probably a better way to feed a child. But feeding a child on a schedule requires that you have a watch or some means of accurately telling time and also requires that you have the ability to somehow record those times. It’s really difficult for me to believe that that is how women across all cultures and across time have breastfed their babies - on a schedule. It doesn’t make sense and again it doesn’t transcend culture and time. Do you REALLY think that Mary fed Jesus on a schedule? I’m not much of a betting person but I would have to bet that Mary was probably pretty relaxed about nursing Jesus and simply fed him when he showed signs of hunger. I believe that if God had intended for us to breastfeed on a schedule, we would have been born with watches on our wrists that always worked.

Can you stand one more example? Cry it out….. I’ve thought about this one a lot and I just don’t see how this type of advice can transcend culture and time. Take the example of my Father with 3 brothers in a 2-3 room house on a farm (actually it was more like an elaborate barn from what I’ve heard). Do you think that my Grandmother made those boys cry it out to get to sleep? I hardly think so - it doesn’t make sense. If she had, then everyone in the house would have been awake every time a baby was awake.

Do you see where I’m coming from on some of this? I mean in todays America, people have bigger houses and separate rooms and it’s easy to leave a child in a room by themselves to cry themselves to sleep. Doesn’t mean it’s “good” advice. And it doesn’t mean that’s how we have always parented - again, through my eyes it doesn’t transcend culture or time. And can I be just a little bit “cliche” if you will? When I was struggling through the “cry it out” advice (friends and parenting classes told me it was “required”) and my own son was crying in his crib, I found myself on my knees deep in prayer asking God for help. And the only image that popped in my head was a picture of Jesus with small children flocked around them and he was loving them. And, I couldn’t help but asked myself the question - If Jesus walked into my house right now and was going to give me some advice on my crying little 5 week old baby, what do I think that advice would be? What would he do to help me in my parenting journey? And the only answer I could come back with is pick that little baby up and hold him and love him. I can’t believe his advice would be any different than that. I’m sorry but if making infant children “cry it out” was a necessity in rearing children, there would have been several references to that in the Bible, wouldn’t you agree?

It’s helped me immensely to take a HUGE step back from the specifics of parenting my children and take a look at the “forest”. What is my overall goal? What do I want to accomplish at the end of the parenting journey and how can I best get there from where I am today? Sometimes when I’m a little bit frustrated with one of my children, I try to remember that it’s not about the specific “behavior” and it’s more about the long term connection with these children. It’s a journey - and a long one - and I just don’t believe any more that there is any one set of “rules” or “advice” that should be followed. I try to remember too when friends ask me advice to preface my statement with “Well, this is what worked for us with child A but it didn’t work that way with child B”. That has definitely been the case for us in all of this. My son needed the rocking and the cuddling to fall asleep - my daughter doesn’t - she’s TOTALLY different. So, what has become important is that we recognize the needs of our individual little children and try to meet their unique set of needs. And that’s the other reason I try to steer clear of “recipe” parenting books - there’s no right or wrong answer for every child and there’s no right or wrong answer for every family. It takes love, patience, kindness, understanding, and God to raise a child. And THAT is a true “recipe” that works in raising children.

Our life is measured not by the number of breaths we take, but by moments that take our breath away.

I’m not sure when I’ll be back but I have a few scheduled posts.

For some reason the concept of “attachment parenting” has gotten a bad reputation and I truly don’t understand why. But, my suspicion is that it’s because many people make “attachment parenting” out to be a checklist of things that you MUST do in order to attach with your children - and that is simply NOT the case. But, I believe that those people who ignore the concept of attachment to their children are really missing the mark in their parenting journey. (More on this in future blog entries.)

Before I had my son, I was absolutely inundated with books from friends that were “must read” books. Many of them were “recipes” for succesful parenting and promised things like my children would sleep through the night by a certain age or that if I rocked them to sleep, they would be “too attached” to me at bedtime. “Too attached”? Is that POSSIBLE? I mean, we ARE talking about an INFANT here and not an 18 year old that should be ready to start the venture out on their own. But I really struggled with all of the advice and books and parenting classes. How can it be THIS hard I thought?

Well, my son was born and for the first week or so, we just loved him and enjoyed the time. We held him as often as we wanted to and didn’t worry about it. And then my friends crept in with their advice (mind you these are friends with VERY small children - no adult children) that I needed to stop rocking my child to sleep. And I thought - are these people for REAL? I’ve waited a VERY long time to have children and for CENTURIES we have been rocking our babies to sleep. Heck, for CENTURIES we’ve been SLEEPING with our children simply because people didn’t HAVE cribs or “other” rooms to place children in. Not to mention that fact that we didn’t have central heat so the ONLY way to keep a child warm was to have them sleep with their parents.

But, my husband and I “worried” about things for the first couple of weeks. And then around 4 weeks of age, my son started to “wake up” and that period of time with him was difficult. Suddenly it seemed impossible to get him to sleep. I had tried the “cry it out” advice and it just seemed unnatural to me (besides the fact that it just didn’t work with our son). I mean, is this REALLY what God intended for us to do with our children? Make them cry themselves to sleep at such a tender age? MAKE them become independent at such a young age? And if that was God’s purpose, to make children “cry it out”, why on EARTH did he make women’s breasts leak every time they hear a baby cry? Had God somehow “messed up” on the design on breasts? I hardly think so.

And then my older sister came to visit me when my son was about 5 weeks old. And what a blessing that was. She was on the “other” side of her parenting journey with children in their 20’s and 30’s. She is what I consider a “Titus 2″ woman - a Godly woman that I look up to and admire. She was the kind of Mother that I wanted to become. And I base that not only on how she raised her children, but on the relationship that she and her husband now have with their adult children - and it’s a marvelous relationship - one that I truly hope to have with my children when they are adults. They are truly friends and confidants now and they simply enjoy the pleasures of spending time together.

So, with all of that in mind, I knew that I had a lot that I could learn from my sister. And simply watching her for those few days helped me change my mind immensely in all of the parenting “information” out there. I watched as she cuddled him and rocked him and assessed his needs. And she reminded me that the amount of time that we actually get to rock our babies to sleep is VERY short. I spent so much time asking her how she had raised her girls. Remembering that she is 21 years old is a reminder that truly she’s in a different generation - a generation that didn’t have the Internet and didn’t have a lot of books. But, she DID have other women from the family around to help her parent.

My questions to her over those days must have seemed rather silly because I asked things like, “How long did you rock your children to sleep? Did you worry about them becoming “dependent” on you? Did you worry about nursing them to sleep (she nursed her second daughter for a long time)? Did you make them cry it out?” And during that time, I remember reflecting with her - I was around when her youngest child was born - I was 9 years old. And, I very much remember all of the love that was given to that child at bedtime and how my sister and mother would take turns rocking that baby to sleep. And then we talked about all of the cousins in the family (there were about 7-8 other cousins very close in age to my sister). And they all raised their children the same - they simply met their children’s needs and loved them - and built relationships with them. They didn’t worry about fixing perceived “problems” - they worried more about the relationship they were building with the child. And as I sit here now on the other end of their parenting journeys and look around me, I see some TRULY wonderful people who are AWESOME adults that I enjoy spending time with. They all have a relationship with God, and FABULOUS relationships with their parents and with the whole family. Every single one of them - and they are all between the ages of 22 and 41.

But the funny thing is that she had no answer for my “detailed” questions. The questions were ones that she completely could not relate to on any level. And neither can any of the cousins that are her age who all have adult children. They loved their children, they worked on their relationships and they worked on keeping family traditions and more importantly keeping God in their daily lives. Noone has ever served time in prison, almost all have gone to college, all of them attend church, and all of them have great relationships with their parents. I have a lot of Titus 2 women around me, wouldn’t you say?

So, now as I’m a few years into my parenting journey, my focus is so much more different. And, now, I’m kind of the “nut” in some aspects amongst my friends because I don’t really follow ANY parenting “book” or “theory”. Don’t get me wrong - I DO read and I read LOTS of books. But there is no one “book” that I subscribe to. I concentrate more on theories of parenting and relationships more than “recipe books” because I don’t believe the “if you do this, this is exactly what will happen”.

And, my selection of authors has changed rather drastically. I no longer look for the “popular books” or the “Super Nanny” books. If a book is about child psychology or parenting, then the author must have either a doctoral degree in something related to children or psychology or something along those lines. If a book is written by someone who truly is more of a parent, then my question becomes “Do they have adult children? What is their relationship with those children?” I certainly don’t want to emulate the parenting of someone who is completely disconnected from their own adult children - that’s not the advice I plan to follow. And isn’t that the overall goal anyway? To produce children who are honest, who love God, and whom I can continue to have a relationship with? I do believe that is God’s design that we come full circle at the end of our lives.

And, I have other qualifications for parenting “advice”. For example, if someone is going to give me parenting “advice” that is something that they insist “MUST” be done in order to be successful in my parenting journey, then that advice must transcend culture and time. And THAT is a topic for a future blog entry!

I’m beginning to think that this is never going to end!  FoxNews has an article this morning about Winnie the Pooh Playsets being recalled.   Below is a quote from the article:

More than 90,000 children’s products, most imported by J.C. Penney Co. Inc., were recalled Thursday for containing dangerous levels of lead, a government safety group announced.

J.C. Penney recalled Chinese-made Winnie the Pooh play sets and decorative ornaments with a horse-theme, as well as art kits made in Taiwan and Vietnam. Totaling 70,400, the toys imported and sold by J.C. Penney all had excessive levels of lead in their surface paint.

Lead is toxic if ingested by young children. Under current regulations, children’s products found to have more than 0.06 percent lead accessible to users are subject to a recall.

Parents - if you aren’t concerned, you SHOULD be.   And you should definitely be thinking about buying toys made in the good ‘ole USA!

I’ve often heard the phrase that if we live long enough, we will leave this world much the way that we came in.   I have had a lot of time to reflect on this in the last few years as my 80+ year old Father has gotten older and now after visiting with him after a very difficult hip surgery, I had an opportunity to reflect on this while sitting at my Father’s bedside for 3 days.  It was hard trip for me as I had to leave my cute little toddlers behind - thankfully I have a marvelous husband who insisted that I go and despite the children being sick the entire time, my husband has told me over and over how much fun he had with the children. God has blessed me immensely!

I’ve watched my Father over the last couple of years progress from no naps, to taking 1 nap a day, to taking 2 naps a day.  It’s interesting because in that same period of time, my toddler has gone from 2 naps a day to 1 nap a day.  I’ve watched as occasionally he has become confused. I’ve also watched that he is an absolute creature of habit - boy howdy does that sound like a toddler or what?  Habits and routines - toddlers and the elderly thrive on those things and remove one of those and functioning normally can be difficult.

My Father had a bad fall and fortunately got to the phone and was able to call my sister.  After the initial hip surgery and some rehab, they found infection and so 2 more surgeries, lots of drugs and antibiotics were administered.  He’s now completely out of his element.  He’s in strange places moving around all the time with unfamiliar people and unfamiliar surroundings.  And worst of all, my Mother is no longer here to be that “rock” of foundation the way a Mother or Father is to a child.  What does that do to a toddler when they are in an unfamiliar surrounding and Mommy or Daddy didn’t bring them there to help them get adjusted?  Well, those of you have parented know that it brings about fits of tantrums due to unfamiliarity and anxiety.  They are out of their routine and out of their element - and it’s difficult.  It’s been exactly the same for my Father.

So this brings up a great comparison - I should treat my children exactly the same way as I treat my Father in his current state.  Would I get mad at him and yell at him for doing something he shouldn’t?   Of course not.  When my Father gets upset, I try to calm him down, console him, remind him who I am (a child wouldn’t necessarily need that), and simply be there for him. In other words, treat him with kindness and love.  And, just like when my toddler says, “Mommy! I don’t like you!” and my response is, “Well, I’m sorry about that but I still love you!”   My response to my Father when he says something mean will be along those same lines. It has to be, doesn’t it?  And with my Father, it very much boils down to treating him exactly the way I would want to be treated.  Should that be any different than how we treat our children?
It’s just been such a reflection for me these past few days in my parenting and in my struggles to parent.  It’s a reminder that my toddlers deserve the exact same treatment that my Father does.  It’s truly been a time of reflection for me and a reminder that my toddlers (well, my toddler and my preschooler) need the same amount of patience that I have with my Father.  And, it’s the same love and patience that will provide for a better long term relationship with my children.  And folks, that’s what it’s all about with our children - building a relationship. 

I’ve also been reading a book the last few days while my Father has been sleeping. The book is titled “Hold On to Your Kids - Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers”. It’s a fabulous book and I can’t wait to share more of it. But the book is about connection - and connecting with our children. It also talks about how our society has changed and how much more critical a strong attachment is with our children.

Well, have I got a surprise for you!  There are MORE Thomas the Train recalls being announced.  Yes… that’s right more bad products Made in China. 

 I just finished crying my way through a true story about domestic violence and abuse and teen pregnancy (and marriage).  When I was 13, by Angela Giles Klocke, is her personal true story of her teen pregnancies, marriage, and her survival of domestic violence.   I am in awe of her and everything that she has personally survived.  I am especially thankful to her for telling her story. 

She is now the coordinator for Young Mothers Empowerment and Bright Beginnings.  And, I am sure that she has made and will continue to make a positive impact on the lives of young mothers as well as women in domestic violence situations. 

I’ve spent some time on her blog and I especially like her post titled “13 Things People Say to Domestic Violence Victims“.   I think that list is a must read for everyone.

Angela’s book has and will continue to make a difference.  My husband and I have been clearing out many “baby things” from our home and just last night we were trying to come up with what we would do with all of the baby stuff.  Well, we’ve clearly decided that we will donate all of our baby stuff to My Sisters House which is an organization that “provides services, programs and resources to empower domestic violence victims and their children to live free from abuse.” 

No one should have to live the way Angela lived but many do and I’m glad she has written this book to help others understand what it means to be a victim of domestic violence.  Thanks Angela for writing what must have been a very painful story to write!

You’re not surprised, are you? It’s yet ANOTHER recall in the Chinese made products problem. The following excerpt is from FoxNews

NEW YORK — Toys “R” Us has recalled 27,000 crayon and paint sets made in China because the packaging of the wooden box contains lead, as does some of the watercolor paint within, company and government officials said Thursday.

No injuries have been reported from the use of the Imaginarium Wooden Coloring Cases, according to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

I do hope that all of the parents out there are really taking this seriously and looking into purchasing more of their toys from US toymakers.

The toy recalls are becoming so common now that don’t even seem to be getting major headlines.  See my screen shot below of where I found this article on Fox News.  To be fair, I didn’t even find the article on the main page of CNN or MSNBC.

Teresa of TOYSMADEINAMERICA.COM stopped by and left a comment on my  blog entry titled Buy Toys MADE IN AMERICA.

This is by far the most comprehensive list I have seen.  I encourage you to stop by there for all of your toy shopping - indoors AND outdoors!